I don't have the words to define it. I don't have a lyric to describe it. I'd love to say it was once not this way but that would be a lie.
I won't lie to you.
I hope whatever creeps in me never crawls across you. I hope this part of your Dad never found its way into your breath.
I've never understood it. I see so much beauty every day, so much life & hope. I see it. But it all fades. It always fades away before the sun ever finds a reason to settle behind the hill.
I want to grab those last few rays of light and wrestle them in. I want to slingshot myself over the mountain, into the bright, blind brilliance of squinting. I've tried for so long. They always slip through my fingers.
I would sell my soul one thousand times over to hold you. Just to feel your flesh and bone in my hands. Just to smell your hair and see you Blink. Both of You. My only two little moments of absolute perfection. My only notions of goodness.
I don't know what the future holds.
I don't know why some people are broken, some are patched, others are mended, and others yet are whole.
I Hurt. I don't want to hurt any longer.
I hope this never makes sense to you, because if it does... I'll have failed.
Be better than Me. Ignore the 13:13 that the clock never lets you see.