My Eyes

I spent a lot of time being afraid of what might come. Far too much time, honestly. I masked that fear with a saying that I stole from a film. "So Be It". I owned it, used it, abused it, and eventually believed it.

Thank God that I did.

I am not old enough nor experienced enough to tell you everything you'll ever need to know. I am not wise enough nor patient enough to give you the insight you'll need to get by. But I pretend I am and I pretend I am. I think that's what matters.

Those things you'll end up worrying about, do not really matter. Those things you'll lose sleep over, do not really exist. They're all mechanisms we use within our own minds to make our lives seem worthwhile. They're tactics we employ to convince ourselves that we have something to figure out, to solve, to overcome. As if those solutions might somehow give us meaning.

They're tricks that we play upon ourselves to fill up our empty cups, when we have no water to pour.

You have to see the World as it truly is. You have to see it as a dysfunctional machine that somehow functions.

Suspend your disbelief only long enough to understand that what you believe cannot be suspended. Who you are cannot be replicated. Who you'll be has not yet been written.

You can only change your world once you realize that no one else could ever dare change it in spite of you.

It is all about perception. That is what "So Be It" means, as it were.

It is all about what you see.

And I know what you see. You may have gotten your Mother's hair, her stature & even her disposition. You may have inherited her religion, her mannerisms & even her apathy.

I see a world full of quiet people, hopeful people, people waiting to to find an answer that has already been answered. I see a world full of people that have all of the tools and abilities it will take to save themselves and everyone they rub elbows with. I see a world so full of wonder and beauty that even blindness has to blink.

I see a world that is rich and waiting. I see a world that you see.

You do have my eyes, as it were.

So be it.

Tides

 
The moon finds me big and bold. Or, perhaps I find the moon as such.

This is my time of year. My awakening. My rebirth, if you will. I feel alive, prosperous, possible, and above all of these things... hopeful.

The wind has shrugged off its laziness and wrapped itself with intent. It has purpose now. It brings with it a change, temperature being the most innocent of those charges. It carries vigor. It pushes change. Frankly, it demands it.

I've had such a short life and yet I find myself halfway There.

The simplest of things move me often times. The passing shadow of a cloud, the vague adjustment of a scent, the faint hint of a memory, or a dream. They stir me to my core. I find myself giddy and abundant beneath the full sun above and yet so very shy beneath its bride at night.

Perhaps it's simply the tides that work there way into Me.